असेच काही तरी: नवीन जोक-बुक

परवा एका मित्राकडे गेलो होतो तेव्हा त्याने ’जोक-बुक’ चा नवीन अंक दाखवला. जोक बुक म्हणजे एका प्रसिद्ध ’विवाह-मंडळाचा’ मासिक अंक. आम्ही त्याला ’जोक-बुक’ म्हणतो.

हसून हसून गडाबडा लोळावे असे ’नमुने’ असतात त्यात. काहींचे तर पान भर फोटो पण असतात, कट्रिना किंवा ह्रितिक ला लाजवतील असे मोडेलिंग करत... (बहुतेक फोटो ’जय बजरंग फोटो स्टुडिओ’ वगैरे ठिकाणी काढलेले असतात. आणि मेक-अप च्या नावाखाली चेहेऱ्याला पावडर फासून चेहेऱ्याचा ’खारा दाणा’ केलेला असतो. काही मुलींनी तर आपल्या ऐवजी आईचा फोटो दिला आहे असेच वाटते..तर काही अगदिच "मिस मांजरी बुद्रुक" टाईप फोटो देतात.

सगळ्यात विनोदी ही प्रोफाईल ची हेडलाईन किंवा पंचलाईन असते. उदा:

संगीतात रमणारी संगीता (म्हणजे स्वत:तच रमणारी???) किंवा

’एकांतात रमणारा जगदीश’ (एकांतातच रमत असेल तर मग एकटाच रहा की??!! )

हे दोन हेडलाईन वाचल्यावर ह्या दोघांचेच का जुळवून टाकू नये असे मला वाटले...म्हणजे ती संगीतात रमणार, आणि हा स्वत:त....कुठून तरी कशात तरी रमले म्हणजे झाले...तेवढीच भांडणे कमी...काय?

प्रोफाईल डिस्क्रिप्शन वाचल्यावर तर याहून चांगला मुलगा किंवा मुलगी ह्या जगात असूच शकत नाही असे वाटते - इतकी मोठी सद्गुणांची यादी असते...सरळ मार्गी, हुशार, चतुर, चाणाक्ष इत्यादी इत्यादी. जर मराठी भाषा सुधारावी असे वाटत असेल तर फक्त ही प्रोफाईल्स वाचावीत...इतकी विशेषणे ठासून भरलेली असतात. आणि त्यातही खूप innovations दाखवयाचा प्रयत्न करतात.

बांधा (म्हनजे ’बांधून ठेवा’ नाही, तर शरीराची ठेवण या अर्थाने) ह्या एकाच चतेगोर्य मध्ये किती वैविध्य असते: क्रुश (म्हणजे हल्लीच्या मराठीत ’size zero’ बरं का), मध्यम, किंचीत स्थूल (म्हणजे हे भयंकर जाड ही असू शकते..), सडसडीत (किंवा शिडशिडीत) , शेलाटी (म्हणजे नक्की कसा हा जरा वादाच मुद्दा आहे) इत्यादी इत्यादी

काही प्रोफाईल मध्ये तर नाही ते डिटेल्स दिलेले होते...म्हणजे खेळाची आवड आहे इथपर्यन्त ठीक आहे, पण प्रूफ म्हणून ’शाळेच्या लंगडी संघात सहभाग’ हे सांगायची काय गरज अहे?

एक प्रोफाईल मध्ये ’मुलाला अध्यात्मिक लेखन करयची आवड आहे’ असे होते. म्हणजे हल्लीच्या काळात अध्यात्मिक वाचन करणारा (किंवा री) सापडणे दुर्मिळ, आणि हा बाबा अध्यात्मिक लेखन करतो!

लोकेशन हा अजून एक महत्वचा मुद्दा. बहुतेक मुलींना स्थळ पुणे किंवा मग थेट USA किन्व UK (तिथे मात्र कुठेही चालेल!) अशी अट असते. मग भले त्या स्वत: यवतमाळ किंवा बुलढाणा मध्ये आयुष्य काढलेल्या असू द्या.

बर माहीती फक्त मुला किंवा मुली बद्दलच देतात असे नाही...तर त्यांचे आई, वडिल, भाऊ, बहीण (काही वेळेस पाळीव कुत्रा, मांजर) इ. सर्वांची माहीती

Happy (Anti) Valentine's Day...

Happy (Anti) Valentine's Day! :)

v>

>

Source: Someecards.com and elsewhere...nothing of my own :)

IPL Player pricing: What makes Dhoni worth $1.15 mn

IPL player pricing: What makes Dhoni worth $1.5 mn?

Recenly came across this article in the Economic Times (http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/4072970.cms)

Some IIMA professor has written a paper on IPL valuations which can be downloaded from IIMA website: http://www.iimahd.ernet.in/publications/data/2009-01-02Rastogi.pdf

To be honest, I did not quite understand how the valuations were arrived at. When you bundle simple concepts with confusing management jargon and incomprehensible mathematical formulae they seem sophisticated and are wothy of being called 'a research paper'. But it doesn't mean that everything that contains deltas and thetas and betas; and some filthy graphs is a well-researched article...

I am not too sure if Modi and Co. ( whole-and-sole of IPL auction) had thought of so many factors before attaching an initial price tag to the palyers being auctioned. And I am VERY SURE that the bigwigs participating in auction DEFINITELY had no backing of logic or mathematics when they bid for a player. So there is no point in 'finding a method in this madness'...

A price any player fetched was purely based on combination of many things - hype, publicity, perception (of 'experts' and owners of IPL teams), recent performance (to some extent), popularity in India and just their ability to 'surprise' ...all of these - but DEFINITELY NOT the

 algorithm and sophisticated valuation techniques.

Some of the findings were as meaningless as valuation techniques e.g.

• An Indian player, on an average, fetches a premium of $203,156 over foreign players  (so what? this might change next year - so what is the trend/ point in this?)
• A half century in any form of ICC approved match fetches $2683 (again what does this signify?)
• An increase in T20 batting average by 1 run fetches $4658  
• One more stumping in any form of ICC approved match fetches $2596 
• An additional wicket in any form of ICC approved match fetches $377
  

The last 3 are the most meaningless data points - for there aren't enough T20 matches played yet - so such a number will always be high...once no. of T20 matches rises, corresponding averages would decrease.

I don't know to what extent the IPL owners (the people who actually spend money) will value this analyses in future auctions - if at all they bother to read it. 

But what I am interested in is opinion of the real expert person on this topic i.e. Harsha Bhogle - who is one of the most thoughful commentators and also an IIM alumni! 

So let's wait (and hope) that he has something to comment on this IPL auction and valuations...

Unlearning things is difficult too...!

From today I am undergoing hectic 5-day training sessions for PMP certification. This is the second Project Management certification training for me in less than 6 months!

The first was PRINCE2 (Projets In Controlled Environment), which is a PMP equivalent certification instituted by UK Govt. and is more prevalent in the UK and parts of Europe.

In the very first session, when I told the instructor that I have done PRINCE2 certification, she said, "That's good! Then why do you want to do PMP certification? The basic concepts are just the same - just terminology is different...so you may skip this..." and she waited for me to say, "OK..." and walk out and give place to someone else - if there is anybody on waiting list.

But she did not know my adamant nature :) I simply turned a deaf ear to what she was saying...as if it was not meant for me (I am very good at such things!) ...she understood and conmpleted her sentence, "...so you may skip this...OR if you still want to undergo this training and certification for personal benefit (READ: To increase job prospects and swicth job!) you may do so"

Needless to say I again ignored it, and remained in the training room :)

......................

OK, so now training has begun - and first thing I notice is: I have learned all the concepts, there is nothing new which I can expect in the next 5 full days of labourous and yawn-inducing training. The bad part is: though concepts are all the same, the terminology is different. A Project Initiation Document is now called (in PMP jargon) a Project Charter etc.

This means I have to 'unlearn' the jargon, the terminology used by PRINCE2 without forgetting the basic concepts! Quite a tough task.

Let me put it in simple and lucid language. Imagine this: You have undergone a training on driving - you know function of signal and what each colour stands for.

Now you undergo another training for driving - and guess what, it has a signal too! The only difference is - the colour code here is not the same...in fact, it's completely goofed up.

So in the new system, you would STOP on a BLUE light and START on a RED light, you would slow down on a PINK instead of a YELLOW...you will turn RIGHT when the arrow indicates LEFT and vice-versa!!!

The basic concept and functionality of the signal still remains the same - but the mapping of signs and color code is different.

So you MUST first unlearn the earlier mapping of a RED and STOP or a GREEN and START - without forgetting what signal is meant for. Then you MUST map new color - BLUE to STOP and RED to START.

Sounds easy? Then imagine this for 30 or 60 colors instead of 3...yep, there are more than 50 processes, sub-processes, knowledge areas and controls involved here...

So today I had to try hard to 'unlearn' the jargon/ terminology I had learned just 6 months back...

I am still struggling to com
e
to terms with this mapping/ unmapping game - even when the training moves ahead at frantoc pace...Let's see how I cope up with this new challenge!

सा रे ग म प - लिटिल च्याम्प आणि एक आयडिया

आज ’सा रे ग म प’ ची मेगा-फाईनल...सगळ्या मराठी लोकांचे डोळे त्याच्या निकालाकडे लागले आहेत...सध्या आमच्याकडचे वातावरण ’सा रे ग म प’ मय झाले आहे...सगळे जण संगीतातले दर्दी असल्या सारखे सारेगम ची भाषा वापरतात...फक्त

कार्यक्रमाच्या बाबतीतच असे नाही तर एकुणच...

म्हणजे आई माझ्यावर चिडली की पूर्वी म्हणायची "कौस्तुभ, तुला धपाटा देइन बरं का..." आता म्हणते "कौस्तुभ

तुला ’ध’ देइन बरं का"... त्या अर्थाने मी प्रथमेश लघाटे पेक्षा जास्त ’ध’ मिळवले आहेत!

किंवा मी आचरटासारखं बोलायला लागलो

(किंवा खरं तर नुसते बोलायला लागलो तरी) की  माझा धाकटा भाऊ मला ’ग प रे’ म्हणुन गप्प करतो :(

जसजशी फायनल जवळ येत आहे तसतसे अफवांना ऊत आला आहे...प्रत्येकजण आतली बातमी म्हणून वेगवेगळा "लिटील च्याम्प" (च्याम्प हा आमच्या आजीचा उच्चार आहे आणि तोच बरोबर आहे असे तिचे प्रामाणीक मत आहे!) जिंकणार असे सांगते...कोणी म्हणते अमुक एका कडे ५ लाख, ७ लाख मागितले, कोणी म्हणते एका ’अतिश्रीमंत मराठी उद्योगपतीने’ (असा प्राणी खरच अस्तित्वात असतो का? कारण ’अतिश्रीमंत उद्योगपती’ आणि ’मराठी’ हे विरुद्धार्थी शब्द आहेत!) त्याच्या आवडीचा स्पर्धक जिंकावा म्हणून झी टिव्ही ला पैसे

दिले आहेत.

अशा अनेक अफवा पसरल्या आहेत. असे असताना मी तरी का गप्प बसावे...म्हणुन मी पण एक अफवा पसरवली - की कोण्या एकाला विजेता घोषित करुन लोकांना नाराज करण्यापेक्षा झी ने सगळ्या बाल स्पर्धकांना विजेते घोषीत केले...

Just for fun: Quiz

Kaustubh was sleeping quietly in his room...

A burglar broke into his room; and started picking all valuable items (which were very scarse!).

Kaustubh suddenly woke up and looked at that burglar. The burglar looked back at Kaustubh.

Kaustubh smiled at burglar; burglar smiled back.

Burglar turned back - picked up whatever he could and walked away. Kaustubh looked at the burglar running...and smiled again!

WHY?

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GUESS WHY?

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I know you are least bothered to know why - but still...if you were forced to answer....

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OK, since you give up; here is the answer.

ANS: Kaustubh was just 1 year old at that time! :)

~ Kaustubh

PS: I know it was not worth even half smile...but I am facing writer's block... so what else do you expect???

Slumdog Millionaire: Mixed Reviews

I have not yet watched Slumdog Millionaire - the movie that can (and in all probabilities will certainly!) give India its first ever Oscar winner (in form of A R Rahman)

But I have heard and read a lot about it. And the reactions have been extremes...simply too great, outstanding, absolute classic OR crap, bull****, over-hyped etc.

You will find plenty of reviews saying nice things about the movie - so I won't mention them again. What drew my attention was the following two kind-of-negative reviews.

First, written by IIPM's self-proclaimed business Guru, Arindam Chaudhari in his blog (http://arindamchaudhuri.blogspot.com/2009/01/dont-see-slumdog-millionaire-it-sucks.html)

And as his usual practice goes, he published one full-page advertisements in all leading newspapers containing this review.

The other one is by a popular blogger Gaurav Sabnis

 (http://gauravsabnis.blogspot.com/2009/01/slumdog-millionaire.html)

Both reviews do not rate the movie highly. And have almost thrashed it...I now want to watch the movie and determine how  I find it. My hunch is that: I will not like it either...

But whatever be it - I sincerely feel that Rahman gets Oscars for this movie. I do not think  (and most people will agree) that Slumdog Millionaire is his best work till date. In fact it is not anywhere close to his Top 10 albums. But the important point is: He is a genius and deserves to be acknowledged at global level... and since he has been nominated for Slumdog... he better get it for the same! So all eyes on 22nd Feb 2009...when winners will be announced...and hopefully history will be created by Rahman, for India!

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By the way, while reading the two aforementioned reviews I also came across the serious fight between the two reviewers - about IIPM...and its serious repurcussions...check out more about this here...

The fraud that is IIPM by Gaurav Sabnis: http://gauravsabnis.blogspot.com/2005/08/fraud-that-is-iipm.html

And this,

http://whatblogmen.blogspot.com/2005/10/dare-to-disagree-with-arindam.html

Especially go through the comments on this article, and you will get more insights and further links to explore!