Monday, November 30, 2009

पी.जे.

पी.जे.

अर्नोल्ड आणि अलक कुबल यांनी एका चित्रपटात एकत्र काम केले तर त्याचे नाव काय असेल?
- माहेरचा टर्मिनेटर


एकदा सगळे प्राणी आषाढी एकादशीला वारीला चालत जातात. पण फक्त कोंबडी टॆक्सी घेऊन जाते. का?
- कारण आषाढी एकादशीला कोंबडी चालत नाही.


संटा: मेरे पास आज गाडी है, बंगला है...तुम्हारे पास क्या है?
बंटा: मेरे पास भी गाडी है, बंगला है.
संटा: ओये तेरे की... फिर मां किधर गयी?




तुम्ही जर एक बी पेरले आणि त्याला अंकुर फुटत नसेल तर तुम्ही त्या बी ला काय म्हणाल?
वेक अप सीड

फोन वाजतो...
नवरा: माझ्याबद्दल विचारले तर सांग मी घरी नाहिये.
बायको फोन उचलते "हो, ते घरीच आहेत"
नवरा: मी तुला काय सांगायला सांगितले होते?
बायको: लक्षात आहे...फोन माझ्यासाठी होता


What is the Height of Flirting? When your love letter starts with: "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN"


समजा नील आर्मस्ट्रॊंग  १९६९ च्या ऐवजी २००९ मध्ये चंद्रावर पोहोचला असता तर?
नील आर्मस्ट्रॊंग चन्द्रावर पाऊल टाकताच त्याला २ जण दिसले..."कोण तुम्ही?"
"कॆमेरामन मयंक के साथ दीपक चौरासिया, आज तक"

पुरुष शक्यतो उजव्या मनगटावर आणि बायका डाव्या मनगटावर घड्याळ का घालतात?
सोप्पे आहे... किती वाजले ते बघायला!

पहिला चोर: पोलीस इथे पोचले आहेत...पट्कन खिडकीतून उडी मार
दुसरा: पण आपण १३ व्या मजल्यावर आहोत
पहिला: बावळटा...अंधविश्वास दाखवायची ही वेळ नाही

इन्सानियत को ब्रेड पे लगा के खा जाओ...आखिर इन्सानियत भी कोई ’चीज’ है

दोन भिकारी आणि दोन सॊफ्टवेअर ईंजिनिअर एकमेकांना भेटले तर काय म्हणतील?
तू कुठल्या ’प्लॆटफॊर्म’ वर काम करतोस?

पप्पू: बाबा, उद्या आपण खूप श्रीमंत होणार्र
ते कसे?
पप्पू: उद्या शिक्षक आम्हाला ’पैशाचे रुपये कसे करायचे’ ते शिकवणार आहेत

what happens after the lion roars... ?? "tom and jerry" starts...

राहुल गांधींना अजून सुयोग्य वधू का मिळत नाहिये?
कारण कॊंग्रेस चा स्लोगन - "सोनिया को बहु-मत दो!!"

पिंट्यासमोर ३ कोक च्या बाटल्या ठेवलेल्या असतात. २ फुलऽऽ, १ रिकामी...
तर तो रिकामी बाटली का उचलतो?
- कारण त्याल रॊकेट उडवायचे असते

एका माणसाला शिरा खुप आवडत असतो. तर तो सैन्यात जातो. क?
कारण एका जाहिरातीत लिहिलेले असते : "सैन्यात शिरा"

एक जुना विनोद सांगू?
- विनोद खन्ना

एक मुलग रु. ३००० चा रिचार्ज करतो. तो १ पण फोन किंवा एसएमएस करत नाही. तरी त्याच बॆलंस जात असतो. का?
- कारण तो एका पायावर उभा असतो

एकदा एक मुलग एका मुलीची छेड काढतो. तर ती त्याला चिडून विचारते."ए मुला काय करतोस??!!".
तो म्हणतो "एफ. वाय. बी. कॊम."

यूपी मधले भैय्या आणि बिहारी लोक यांना फूटबॊल टीम मधे का घेत नहीत ?
कारण त्यांना कॊर्नर मिळाला की ते लगेच तिथे दुकान टाकतात.


पहिला: माझे बाबा इतके उंच आहेत की ते उडत्या हेलीकॊप्टरला हात लावू शकतात
दुसर: माझे बाबा पण उंच आहेत, पण ते असले आचरट चाळे करत नाहीत

तुम्ही शर्ट कुठे शिवता?
- फाटेल तिथे!

एका मुलाला त्याचे मित्र ’तेलकट’ म्हणत असतात. तो चिडतो आणि बिल्डिंगवरुन उडी मारतो, पण तो मरत नाही. क?
कारण त्यानी ’पॆरॆशूट’ लावलेले असते.


अलीबाबा गुहा शोधायला चालत निघतो. चालून चालून खूप दमतो. शेवटी एकदाची गुहा येते. तर तो काय म्हणेल ?
- आलि बाबा

एक मुलगा: माझी आई सर्विस करते.
दुसरा मुलगा: पण माझी आई टेनिस नाही खेळत

जर अजित आगरकर नी नो बॊल टाकला तर अंपायर काय म्हणेल?
- मराठी पाऊल पडते पुढे

एक सिग्नल दुसऱ्या सिग्नल ला काय म्हणेल?
इकडे बघू नकोस, मी बदलतोय!

खरा संगीत प्रेमी कोण?
एखादी तरुणी आंघोळ करत असताना गाणे गुणगुणत असेल तर

Sunday, November 29, 2009

सुखांत




आज संजय सूरकर दिग्दर्शित ’सुखांत’ हा इच्छामरण या विषयावरचा मराठी चित्रपट पाहीला...फारच चांगला आणि आशयपूर्ण चित्रपट आहे!


ह्याबद्दल सविस्तर लवकरच...पण शक्य झाल्यास नक्की पहा...चुकवू नका.















~ कौस्तुभ

Yippee!!!! I'm riding (Google) Wave now...

Yippee!!!


Google made my day today!


A few days ago I had requested Google to send me a Google Wave invite (through an online form)...and to my surprise they sent me one today...


Here's screen snap of the email invite:





I promptly accepted the invitation (before Google Team had any second thoughts!) and now I'm riding Google Wave -:)






Still figuring out how it works, but would definitely write more soon!


Happy Waving!


~ Kaustubh

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I have 'bottomed out' :)



Feeling extremely extremely sad, depressed and lonely today...not for one particular reason or the other.









...
...
...


But I am an ever optimistic person!


This is the worst it can get and the only way to go from here is UP!


As the financial analysts so frequently use (rather misuse or abuse) the phrase 'markets have bottomed out'....I too have 'bottomed out' :)


“This Too Shall Pass”










~ Kaustubh

Friday, November 20, 2009

Chess puzzle


In the diagram below which side does White play from?
North or South? 


Also what was the last move that  led to this position?


Courtesy: Pawan







~ Kaustubh

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Check this…

Check this...not sure how real or feasible or affordable it is...but sounds an innovative concept!


http://www.ted.com/talks/pranav_mistry_the_thrilling_potential_of_sixthsense_technology.html


~ Kaustubh

Just for fun…


International Men's Day  Today

Somebody wished me early morning today on occasion of International Mens Day’…


I said, my day happened 5 days ago on Nov 14, Childrens Day (in India) J but I could not celebrate it with sweets coz it also happens to be World Diabetes Day L


BTW, for all Men who feel happy about today being their day  let me warn them, today is also World Toilet Day’…do you think it is a mere coincidence or a conspiracy against MenL


~ Kaustubh

Monday, November 16, 2009

New from Google stable

Anything that has a Google stamp on it excites me...I simply adore the company, its founders, its innovation!


Here are two products/ services from Google stable that sound interesting and promising:







and 


Google's programming language: GO 


~ Kaustubh

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Wine is bottled poetry…

Found this picture somewhere on the web:



“Wine is bottled poetry.” -- Robert Louis Stevenson


Since I know nothing about either Wine or poetry, I cannot comment on the quote. But the hyperbole/ analogy is fascinating.


So I Googled this quote and found another small write-up...very well written...with a beautiful picture!!!





The image and the article can be found here.


BTW, any thoughts/ personal experiences about the quote are welcome...especially from people who are 'deeply into' wine or poetry!


~ Kaustubh

वटवट वटवट...

वटवट वटवट...

मी आधी म्हटल्याप्रमाणे पुलंचे वटवट वटवट हा बहुरंगी-बहुढंगी कार्यक्रम माझ्या पॊडकास्ट वर अपलोड केला आहे...









Part2:






Part3:






Part4:






Part5:






Part6:












~ कौस्तुभ

Sunday, November 8, 2009

पु. ल. देशपांडे यांचे दुर्मिळ पेटीवादन

पु. ल. देशपांडे यांचे दुर्मिळ पेटीवादन

आज पुलंचा ९० वा जन्मदिन (८ नोव्हेंबर २००९)

सहज YouTube वर सर्च करत असताना पुलंची पेटीवादनाची एक दुर्मिळ क्लिप मिळाली...










पुलंचा असाच अजून एक कमी प्रचलित कार्यक्रम म्हणजे ’वटवट वटवट’ - ज्यातील बराचसा भाग पुढे ’उरले सुरले’ ह्या पुस्तकात प्रसिद्ध झाला आहे.

अतिशय वेगळ्या ढंगाचा हा कार्यक्रम बऱ्याच लोकांना माहितीच नाहीये. माझ्या कडे त्याची Audio क्लिप्स आहेत...ज्या मी लवकरच माझ्य Podcast वर अपलोड करीन.

~ कौस्तुभ

Try this…


Try this...quite interesting..........and addictive!

Click the below link and follow the instructions



http://www.members.shaw.ca/gf3/circle-the-cat.html


Courtesy: Gayatri


~ Kaustubh

Friday, November 6, 2009

Sachin Tendulkar...






Another distinct achievement for Sachin: 


He played against Geoff Marsh in 1992 and against his son Shaun in 2009... 


Very few (if at all any) probably would have played against 2 generations in their career!


Any statistics about this?


~ Kaustubh

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Poking fun at Obama's Nobel Peace prize - Part 3

The last post in this series...the article published in Canadian Satire and Humor magazine 'The Albatross':
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nobel Peace Prize Winner: U.S President Barack Obama

Lazy Illuminati Award Nobel Peace Prize to Barack Obama

In an act that revealed their increasing boredom and indifference to secretly controlling the entire world, our Illuminati masters have ordered that Barack Obama be given the Nobel Peace Prize. “I’m so sick of sitting around in these robes,” said one council member, “And people won’t even care about this in a week, I guarantee it. Just pick someone.”

Illuminati members, initially presented with a six-thousand page dossier on the 205 nominees, were generally incredulous at the thought of a thorough analysis of the candidates, and how the victory of each might benefit the New World Order. “What? I’m not reading this stupid thing,” said Dread Prince Skeletor, flipping briefly through the massive tome before using it to roll a joint. “Let’s just all vote for Barack Obama, the black superman who saved America. I want to beat traffic.”

Other members were quick to agree. “Yeah! Obama – he’s still, like, a thing, isn’t he?” said High Prelate Luciferius, cracking open a Pabst Blue Ribbon and stretching out over the length of a couch made from the hides of Christian martyrs. “It’s, like, Europeans all hated Bush, and Obama is, like, the opposite of Bush, or whatever, so he gets the Nobel Peace Prize from Europeans and it’s all like oh, la la la, George Bush, you’re a dickhead, where’s your Nobel Peace Prize? Oh, you don’t get one, duh nuh nuh nuh.”

Added Luciferius, “And then, people will be all, like, da da duh da: He didn’t do nothing, my TV said so.”
The suggestion of Obama, met mostly with shrugs and responses of “Yeah, sure” and “Whatever” in the candlelit council chamber – the room where your very nightmares are born – was quickly approved, as several artificially immortal railroad barons went back to trying to beat their high scores in Brickbreaker.

The decision, which was delayed in confirmation by the lateness of proxy votes being sent in from Bingo Night at the Elders of Zion Retirement Home, was hastily scribbled in crayon on the back of a priceless Renoir and sent to the Nobel Prize Committee in Oslo.

Nobel committee insiders, however, were more concerned about the mental health of our dark overseers than the decision itself. “I think they’re depressed,” said Norwegian journalist Hans Grungensen, whose accursed bloodline has covered the secretive organization since its inception in a year unknown to mankind. “They used to monitor heroic dissident groups with the secret cameras they have hidden in every household – now, the only thing those cameras record is people eating mayonnaise out of a jar while watching re-runs of Dancing With The Stars.”

Illuminati members, however, are reportedly shocked over the widely negative backlash to Obama’s reception of the award. “We don’t really see what the big deal is,” said Broodicus Shakur, a 157th Degree Mason and the True King of Kamchatka. “When we’re really lazy, we just give it to somebody for Israel and Palestine. Nobody cries foul over ‘not having really achieved anything’ with that nonsense.”

Some members of the council, however, expressed concern that the transparently incomprehensible choice could expose the Illuminati’s iron grasp over every facet of our lives. “We, who are darkness, must always be in darkness,” said Death Lord / Florist Rob Denton, planting butterfly kisses upon a goat carcass while sitting atop a throne of human skulls. “It cannot fall to the common man to discern our presence or intention, and yet as of late we have acted with alarming presence: ‘Single Ladies’ really was one of the best videos of all time.”

Source: The Albatross magazine articleFriday, October 9, 2009


~ Kaustubh

Poking fun at Obama's Nobel Peace prize - Part 2

Another new report poking fun at Obama's Nobel Peace prize...Soon after he was awarded the prize, the committee declared winners of Nobel Prize in Economics - and this news report followed:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Obama fails to win Nobel prize in economics

LONDON (MarketWatch) -- In a decision as shocking as Friday's surprise peace prize win, President Obama failed to win the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences Monday.


While few observers think Obama has done anything for world peace in the nearly nine months he's been in office, the same clearly can't be said for economics.
The president has worked tirelessly since even before his inauguration to wrest control of the U.S. economy from failed free markets, and the evil CEOs who profit from them, and to turn it over to wise, fair and benevolent bureaucrats.
From his $787 billion stimulus package, to the cap-and-trade bill, to the seizures of General Motors and Chrysler, to the undead health-care "reform" act, Obama has dominated the U.S., and therefore the global, economy as few figures have in recent years.
Yet the Nobel panel chose instead to award the prize to two obscure academics -- Elinor Ostrom and Oliver Williamson -- one noted for her work on managing collective resources, and the other for his work on transaction costs.


Other surprise losers include celebrity noneconomist and filmmaker Michael Moore; U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner; and Larry Summers, head of the U.S. national economic council.
It is unclear whether the president will now refuse his peace prize in protest against the obvious slight to his real achievements this year.
-- Tom Bemis, assistant managing editor


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Source: MarketWatch news report Oct. 12, 2009
~ Kaustubh

Poking fun at Obama's Nobel Peace prize - Part 1

There was a wonderful and hilarious article by Roger Cohen, the New York Times columnist, published in the Indian Express soon after Obama won the Nobel award...(originally published in the New York Times - see here)


I am reproducing it here in case you missed it:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why this column deserves the Nobel
Beautiful thoughts, wondrous words. What more is needed?


I want this column to be good. I want it to be so good, it wins a prize. One of those big prizes, like the ones they hand out every year in Stockholm.


I want it to be subtle and full of goodness and infuse all humankind with hope. Let me be clear: I want it to be uplifting, conciliatory and bold. In fact I want it to carry some miraculous quality.
I’ve traveled the world, seen the forgotten silos on the plains, the rusting railroad cars, the forbidding watchtowers, the scavengers in the garbage, the fatigue-smudged faces, the refugees sprawled on the school room floor, the lonely lingerers, the freighters hardening the horizon, the beautiful and the damned.


Along the way I’ve learned this: We deny our connectedness at our peril. Let me be clear: This is the 21st century.

I’ve heard the infant’s cry, the sobbing of the bereaved, the old man’s sigh, the whispering of the valley, the stirring of desire, the echo of war, the village bells, the ram’s horn rising, the muezzin’s pre-dawn call to prayer.
That’s a lot of different sounds. So let me be clear: As children of Abraham we are all responsible for one another. This is the age of responsibility.
I’ve known the walls that divide us, the propaganda of hate, the crops that wither, the seas that rise, the networks that go down, the tires that go flat, the light bulbs that go out, the subways that stop and the delays at O’Hare Airport.

I’ve heard the infant’s cry, the sobbing of the bereaved, the old man’s sigh, the whispering of the valley, the stirring of desire, the echo of war, the village bells, the ram’s horn rising, the muezzin’s pre-dawn call to prayer.
That’s a lot of different sounds. So let me be clear: As children of Abraham we are all responsible for one another. This is the age of responsibility.
I’ve known the walls that divide us, the propaganda of hate, the crops that wither, the seas that rise, the networks that go down, the tires that go flat, the light bulbs that go out, the subways that stop and the delays at O’Hare Airport.

Let there be no doubt: I want Turks and Armenians to embrace, something good for South Ossetia, and peace sans pyg
mi
es — forgive me, sans persecutions — in Pyongyang. May the spirit of Moses, Jesus and Muhammad — peace be upon them — too spread in the Holy Land.

Some will say I’m a dreamer. Some might find themselves unable to engage with these engaging aspirations even if this is the age of engagement. But there is no alternative to engagement except, perhaps, divorce, alienation, separation, enmity, competition, rivalry, envy, misunderstanding, threats, intimidation and rage — all of which I reject on principle.

There have always been doubters, skeptics, losers — and Republicans. But I say to them: The hopeful will inherit the earth. And I say to them: Read my mass e-mailings or see me on Twitter.
I know, Philip Roth writes more than two dozen novels and can’t get a Nobel. But I’m sure I think more beautiful thoughts. If my thoughts were dark I might want to be a novelist rather than a columnist.
I know, Nelson Mandela spent more than two dozen years imprisoned and he did get a Nobel. But, well, I’ve lost my train of thought.
What I know is this: The hypothetical is worthless in history. And I’m sure many of you are saying to yourselves: It’s just fine and dandy hoping for all these wonderful things, but what about deeds, actions, achievements, results?
Forgive me, but that’s so 20th century. We live in a virtual age. We are the Wii-players of history! Our medium is thin air. We don’t have to get our fingers dirty for things to move in the direction we desire.

In conclusion, I know this column has fallen short. I am aware of its shortcomings, its banality and its immodesty. I am humbled by all the great practitioners of this 820-word craft — “art” would be going too far — in whose illustrious footsteps I tread. But I know this: If I’ve given momentum to some global fantasy, my time has not been wasted.
You know, I love Sweden. It’s the anti-Denmark. I love its glistening lakes and its countless Iraqi refugees. The lakes remind us of the beauty of the planet we all share. The refugees express the agony of the human condition — but forget that. Hope trumps experience every time.
Finally, let me be clear: All prize money is payable to me.
Source: The Indian Express columnWednesday, Oct 14, 2009
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~ Kaustubh