TLAs: Which is your favourite?

JFK - John F Kennedy

SRK - ShahRukh Khan

MIT - Massachusetts Institute of Technology

DoT - Department of Telecom

RIP - Rest In Peace

USP - Unique Selling Proposition

ICC - International Cricket Council

LPG - Liquefied Petroleum Gas

ADR - American Depository Receipts

PLR - Prime Lending Rate

ECG - Electro Cardio Gram

CRT - Cathode Ray Tube

LED - Light Emitting Diode

SOA - Service Oriented Architecture

IMF - International Monetary Fund

ISD - International Subscriber Dialing

ATM - Automated Teller Machines

CoQ - Cost of Quality

IPR - Intellectual Property Right

SIP - Systematic Investment Plan

RoI - Return on Investment

What is common between all of these?

Nothing; except that they all are TLAs i.e. Three Letter Acronyms

People like to 'create' or 'invent' short-forms - preferably of Three-letters.

Especially corporate guys, marketing gurus etc. cannot seem to survive without them. Their every 'corporate initiative', 'big strategic mission' would use several TLAs

We all know about or use TLAs subconsciously - but if you start to consciously look for them, you would be amazed how much we 'overdo' it.

As my Economics professor (a Scot with terrific sense of humor!) said (in a sarcastic tone):

"TLAs are just perfect. Two letters is too short and Four letters is one too many..."

His favourite TLA was -

JTL i.e. 'Just Too Late' (similar to JIT which stands for Just In Time)

c
lass="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;">My current favourites are -

NDE i.e. Near Death Experience (This recession is giving me plenty of NDEs) and

AYF i.e. All Your Fault (I get 'AYF looks' every time I survive those NDEs)

What is your favourite TLA?

~ Kaustubh

विनोद

एकदा एक मुंगी स्कूटर वरून जात असताना एकदम खाली पडते. का?

- कारण स्कूटर संपते

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एका माणसाला ४ बहिणी असतात. तर त्याच्या मुलाचे नाव काय असेल?

- आत्याचार

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भगवान शंकरानी जर त्यांचे आत्मचरित्र लिहायचे ठरवले तर त्या आत्मचरित्राचे नाव काय असेल?

- कैलास जीवन!

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एक मराठी माणूस आपल्या आईच्या आज्जीच्या नावने bank सुरु करतो...तर त्याचे नाव काय असेल?

- आय ची आय ची आय bank

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एक नवरा बायको पहिल्यांदाच विमानात बसतात.

बायको (उत्साहाच्या भरात): अहो, ते बघा...माणसे कशी मुंग्यांसारखी दिसत आहेत

नवरा (शांतपणे): माणसे नाहीत, मुंग्याच आहेत त्या...आपले विमान अजून उडायचे आहे

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शाहरूख खान आणि करण जोहर ने ’तारे जमीन पर’ बनवला असता तर त्याचे नाव काय ठेवले असते?

- ’कुछ’ तारे जमीन पर

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शाहरूख खान आणि आदित्य चोप्राने ’गझनी’ बनवला असता तर त्याचे नाव काय ठेवले असते?

- रब ने बना दी बॊडी

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मास्तर: शाळेबाहेरच्या फणसाच्या झाडाला जर ३ फणस आहेत तर माझे वय काय?

चिंटू: ४० वर्षे

मास्तर: शाब्बास चिंटू...तू कसे ओळखलेस?

चिंटू: माझ्या घराजवळ एक अर्धवट वेडा मुलगा राहतो - त्याचे वर २० वर्षे आहे

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मास्तर: शाळेबाहेरच्या फणसाच्या झाडाला जर ३ फणस आहेत तर माझे वय काय?

चिंटू: ४० वर्षे

मास्तर: शाब्बास चिंटू...तू कसे ओळखलेस?

चिंटू: कारण मी आज डब्यात मटकीची उसळ आणली आहे

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For sale: baby shoes, never worn

This thing amused me a lot - especially after having just completed Atlas Shrugged - which is about 1200 pages long!

Have you heard of 'Flash fiction'? (or 'sudden fiction' or 'microfiction', 'micro-story' or 'postcard fiction' or 'short short story')

I hadn't - till I came across this Ernest Hemingway's six-word flash,

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn"

Yes, that's the whole story! Apparantly Ernest Hemingway was once prodded to compose a complete story in six words; Hemingway accepted the challenge and came up with this story...and it is said that he rated it the best among his work.

...

...

...

I explored a bit on this and found that such form of writing is called 'flash fiction' i.e. fiction of extreme brevity.

Wired magazine had published a compilation of few of them

The one I liked is:

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.

- William Shatner

And

We went solar; sun went nova.

- Ken MacLeod

After this I collected a few interesting attempts by various bloggers/ writers:

Shit or get off the pot.

You're not my wife? My bad.

the pattern was perfect. well, no.

hmmmm....there must me something more...

I hate long goodbyes. Just leave.

Another interesting thing I found was:

The World's Shortest Horror Story:

"The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door."

(author unknown to me)

---------------------------------------------

Cool, isn't it? It really amazes me - The power of words - when used sparingly :)

~ Kaustubh

The Best Drunken Conversation

The best drunken conversation:

What is the man saying here?

My answer: I Am Not As Thunk As You Drink I Am

What's your answer? Come on...shooooot; let your creative and witty juices flow... :)

~ Kaustubh

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

.................

.................

.................

(last paragraph...)

I shall be telling this with a sigh 

Somewhere ages and ages hence 

Two roads diverged in a wood 

And I took the one less traveled by 

And that has made all the difference 

~ Robert Frost

My desktop wallpaper...

Just a thought came to my mind - to share my desktop wallpapers, from time to time...so that I can remember in future what my mood was look at that poin in time...(not that there is any 'deep thought' in having those as wallpapers - but definitely it says something...)

Current wallpaper:

Previous wallpaper:

The next change will be in June 2009 or when my mood changes (whichever is earlier!) - :)

~ Kaustubh

Jai Ho!

Finally, my looooooong time wish is going to come true...

I will be attending 2-times Oscar winner A R Rahman's concert in my home city - Pune on 31st May 2009...bought the Silver pass today...can't wait for the concert...too eager to experience the Rahman magic!!!

~ Kaustubh

"झाड": एक कविता

कविता आणि मी - हे समीकरण फारसं कधी जुळंल नाही (कविता म्हणजे - काव्य...कविता नावाचा इतर कुठलाही पदार्थ आमच्या अवतीभवती नाही)...तर मी कवितेत फारसा रमलो नाही कारण मला त्यातले फारसे कधी कळलेच नाही...  (’आपल्याला एखाद्या गोष्टीतले कळंत नाही’ हेच बऱ्याच लोकांना कळंत नाही...मला ते कळते आणि ते मी मान्य करतो हे काय कमी आहे?). 

आमचे मास्तर, किंवा काही कविता कळते असे समजणारे लोक एकाच कवितेतून नाही नाही ते अर्थ काढतात - की जे खुद्द कविलापण अभिप्रेत नसतील. 

"Censor is a person who finds 3 meanings of a joke - when there are actually only 2!" ... तसे काहीसे....असो.

पण तरीही मी कविता वाचत राहतो - कधी तरी मलाही कविता कळेल (निदान एक अर्थ तरी!) ह्या सद्भावनेने.

आणि परवाच एक अशी कविता वाचण्यात आली जी मला चक्क कळली! (मी जर मराठीचा प्राध्यापक असतो तर ’कविता भावली’ असे म्हणालो असतो, आणि स्वतः कवी असतो तर ’कविता उमगली’ असे!)

कविता कळली त्याचे कारण ति ज्या विषयावर आहे त्या मंदीचा फटका मलाही बसला आहे... (आमच्या एका नातेवाईकाचे नाव ’मंदा’ आहे - तिला लाडानी लोक ’मंदी’ म्हणतात...आणि ती लाडानी आम्हाला कायम फटके द्यायची...पण ते ’मंदीचे फटके’ वेगळे...)

तर ती कविता कोण्या एका ’स्वामी’ नावाच्या कवीची आहे...आता स्वामी हे त्याचे (किंवा तीचे) "टोपणनाव" आहे, की "रिफील-नाव" की "संपूर्ण पेन-नाव" ते काही मला माहीती नाही (शीः विनोदाचा किती गरीब आणि सुमार प्रयत्न होता). पण कविता चांगली आहे...वाचा. बाकी सध्या मला बऱ्यापैकी कविता ’भावायला’ लागल्या आहेत...त्यामुले आता अधुनमधून असाच (दुसऱ्याच्या) कवितांचा मारा होत रहाणार...फक्त अशी प्रार्थना करा की मला कविता करायची दुर्बुद्धी व्हायला नको...

----------------------------------------

"झाड"

मी लावलं होतं एक स्थावर मालमत्तेचं झाड
त्याला कर्जाचं पाणी टाकून,
वाढवत होतो हळूहळू.

खूप निघत होता व्याजाचा घाम
चालू होतं हप्त्याचं ठिबक सिंचन
आणी रिकामी होत होती सेविंगची टाकी

वाट बघत होतो अशा एका पावसाची
ज्याने ओसंडून वा

Black is beautiful...than ever before

Obama effect is spreading faster than Swine Flu!!! Black is beautiful...than ever before.

Shortly after Obama was elected as first Black US president, current James Bond, Daniel Craig said that the world was now ready for a Black Bond

To take things further, Will Smith declared himself to be the best suited as Black Bond.

And now - for the first time in its history, Walt Disney film is introducing first Black princess in its forthcoming animation movie. The announcement is already getting good publicity and some criticism as well. 

The moral of the story is - black is no more seen in bad/ negative light.

So I was just brainstorming aon what we may hear in future?

1. Black money would be considered same as white money.
   
2. Black magic would not be looked down upon - and would get the same social status as any other kind of magic.
   
3. People would vie for appearing on Blacklist
   
4. Just like Batman - we would have a super-hero character named 'Blackman'
   
5. US president would have a second home (or weekend home or a farm house) called 'Black House'
   
<
li>n class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;">To show protest/ anger, people would not blacken faces of politicians/ government officials (Don't know if it happens in the rest of the world - in India it is usual)...they would instead whitewash!

6. And lastly, Michael Jackson (Oops, I mean Mikaeel) would again go under knife to become Black again!
   

Can you add to the list?

~ Kaustubh

Rule of 20: Remembering Mr. B

Mr. B was my neighbor in the UK - A nice person, tall, dark (Black, to be precise), handsome and well-built (excellent sprinter!). I guess there is something about the Black genes that make them well-built, by default - unlike our Indian (mutated) genes: No matter what we eat, or how much we exercise, we always end up with pot belly, sooner or later.

B was funny - not intentionally, but his ideas, his way of explaining them made him so.

After our first class of Corporate Finance, I met him in the kitchen (we lived in the same flat on campus and shared kitchen) and asked him how he found the professor (who looked like a mix of young Bill Gates - or some similar geek with specs - and Austin Powers).

B was visibly miffed with this Prof.: "I don't like this guy."

"Why?"

"Well, I don't like guys who teach extremely difficult subject, and still smile"

..................

The other day I happened to discuss my passion - Chess with him. "Do you play chess?" I asked.

No. I don't like chess. It's a racist game where Black play against White - and it's always White who make first move!"

Wow! I had never looked at chess from this angle - never thought that chess could be racist :)

..................

Once we were chatting and the discussion reeled upon his eternal interest - Girls!

B: Heard of Rule of 20?

K (that's me): Nope, what is it?

B: You see, we trust this rule here in the UK. No matter how ugly you look..(pointing at me)

K (to himself): [okay..that is very encouraging and pleasing.go ahead!]

B: No matter how ugly you look, if you talk 20 girls in - one would definitely fall for you!

s
tyle="text-align:justify;">

K: Hmm.and is converse of this rule true?

[B got 'hung up' (like a computer) at the mention of word 'converse' - he is 'mathematically' challenged....]

B: What does converse of a rule mean?

K: The opposite.I mean 'Instead of talking to 20 different girls, if you talk to the same girl 20 times, would she fall for you?'

B: Hmmm...(goes to 'Not Responding' mode for few moments), never tried this, though it is a good suggestion - maybe I should try it at pub coming Saturday... K: Go ahead! All the best...But make sure that you are aware of all the "Emergency Exit" gates! :) .............

But it was fun! I learnt a lot from him - especially his hard-working and diligent nature.

एक कूटप्रश्न (puzzle)

तुमच्या जवळ ३००० केळी आणि ५ हत्ती आहेत. ती तुम्हाला पुण्याहून दिल्लीपर्यंत (१००० कि.मी धरा) न्यायची आहेत. पण -

१. एक हत्ती जास्त्तीत जास्त १००० केळी नेऊ शकतो.

२. प्रत्येक कि.मी. नंतर एका हत्तीला एक केळे लागते. नाहीतर तो पुढे जाणार नाही.

३. हत्तीला तुम्ही वाटेतच सोडू शकता.

सांगा पाहू तुम्ही जास्त्तीत जास्त किती केळी दिल्ली पर्यंत न्याल ?

~ कौस्तुभ

Freakonomics: An entertaining side of economics and an economist

"Economic forecasters assume everything; except responsibility"

I had read this funny one-liner on Economists long time back...but I did appreciate how true it is (apart from being witty) only when I studied Economics on my MBA program (and kept on reading it thereafter!)...

Economics is an abstruse and obscure subject. Economics and Economists are always made fun of. But can an Economists have a sense of humor??? Well, my answer was 'NO' - until I read this wonderful book called Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner. And then my opinion changed. Economists can not only be funny; they can be 'human' too! I mean they can talk the language common people could understand. (Actually I had experienced this from some of the speeches of Dr. Amartya Sen - who has a terrific sense of humor...and happens to be an economist!)

The book is essentially about the economics but in a different perspective...uses no jargon and is entertaining even as a light read.

Check this following bit on 'theories' where the author takes on scholars' tendency of theorizing everything and trying to fit everything in a 2 X 2 matrix.

=======================================

On theories:

"...These theories made their way, seemingly without question, from the expert's mouths to journalists' ears to the public's mind. In short course, they became conventional wisdom

The was only one problem; they weren't true"

=========================================

Of course the success of the narration of book should also be given to co-author Stephen Dubner who is a NY Times journalists.

Here is another short piece that sarcastically points out Economists' nature of 'finding a unifying theme in everything'.

==========================================================

Levitt had an interview for the Society of Fellows, the venerable intellectual clubhouse at Harvard that pays young scholars to do their own work, for three years, with no commitments. 

Levitt felt he didn't stand a chance. For starters, he didn't consider himself an intellectual. He would be interviewed over dinner by the senior fellows, a collection of world-renowned philosophers, scientists, and historians. He worried he wouldn't have enough conversation to last even the first course.

Disquietingly, one of the senior fellows said to Levitt, "I'm having a hard time seeing the unifying theme of your work. Could you explain it?"

Levitt was stymied. He had no idea what his unifying theme was, or if he even had one.

Amartya Sen, the future Nobel-winning economist, jumped in and neatly summarized what he saw as Levitt's theme.

Yes, Levitt said eagerly, that's my theme.

Another fellow then offered another theme.

You're right, said Levitt, that's my theme.

And so it went, the dogs tugging at a bone, until the philosopher Robert Nozick interrupted.

"How old are you, Steve?"

"Twenty-six."

Nozick turned to the other fellows: "He's twenty-six years old. Why doe
s he need to have a unifying the
me? Maybe he's going to be one of those people who's so talented he doesn't need once. He'll take a question and he'll just answer it, and it'll be fine."

==========================================================

A good read for everyone - no matter if you study economics or not.

~ Kaustubh

A R Rahman - Live in Concert - Pune - 31st May 2009

A R Rahman coming to Pune to entertain ME!!! :)

A R Rahman to perform LIVE in a concert in Pune as part of his 'Jai Ho' world tour.

Date: 31st May 2009

Venue: Balewadi Stadium

The press conference about this will be held tomorrow (8th May) in Pune 

Source: Rahman's Official website

http://www.arrahman.com/v2/

Anybody interested???

~ Kaustubh

’शब्दबंबाळ’ मराठी भाषा आणि सावरकर

परवाच ’महराष्ट्र दिन’ झाला (खरे तर सद्यस्थिती पाहाता ’महाराष्ट्र दीन’ असे म्हटले पाहिजे)... त्यानिमित्त ’सकाळ’ मध्ये माधव गाडगीळ यांचा मराठी भाषेबद्दल एक लेख आला आहे. माधव गाडगीळ हे जुन्या काळातील सुप्रसिद्ध अर्थतज्ज्ञ धनंजय गाडगीळ यांचे सुपुत्र - आणि ते स्वतःदेखील शास्त्रज्ञ आहेत. मराठीत साधे आणि सोपे शब्द प्रचलीत करण्यापेक्षा क्लिष्ट आणि दुर्बोध शब्द वापरण्याकडेच तथाकथित विद्वानांचा कल असतो आणि त्यामुळेच मराठी भाषा व्यवहारात मागे पडते आहे - ह्या मुख्य संकल्पनेवर हा लेख आहे.

त्यात दिलेली काही सरकारी भाषेचे (खरं तर ’शासकीय परिभाषा’ असे म्हटले पाहिजे!) ’नमुने’ खरच गमतीदार आहेत. उदा. वनवासी लोकांचे हक्क आणि पुनर्वसन ह्याबद्दलचे हे सरकारी उपकलम पहा:

"बाधिक व्यक्ती व समूह यांच्याकरिता सुरक्षित उपजीविका पुरवण्यासाठी आणि प्रस्तुत विधि व केंद्र सरकारच्या धोरणात दिलेल्या , अशा बाधित व्यक्ती व समूह यांच्या आवश्यकतांची पूर्तता करण्यासाठी पुनःस्थापना करणे किंवा पर्यायी योजना तयार करणे व संसूचित करणे. प्रस्तावित पुनःस्थापनेसाठी व योजना लेखी स्वरूपात मिळवण्यासाठी संबंधित क्षेत्रातील गामसभेची संमती मोफत मिळवणे..." इत्यादी इत्यादी.

मराठी ही माझी मातृभाषा असल्याचा माझा अभिमान हे ’शासकीय मराठी’ वाचून गळून पडला :(

४-४ वेळा त्याच ओळी वाचूनही मला त्याचा अर्थ समजला नाही. असे ’शब्दबंबाळ’ मराठी हे लोक का लिहितात आणि त्यातून काय सिद्ध करायचा त्यांचा प्रयत्न असतो काय माहित?

ते वाचून मला ’मुघल-ए-आझम’ ह्या चित्रपटाची आणि त्यातल्या ’शब्दबंबाळ’ उर्दूची आठवण झाली. नुकताच २-३ वर्षांपूर्वी हा चित्रपट रंगीत स्वरुपात परत प्रदर्शित झाला, तेव्हा माझ्या एका मित्रा बरोबर सीडी वर परत पाहिला. हसून हसून पुरेवाट झाली आमची. डायलॊग तर रिवाईंड कर-करुन ऐकले!

"’शहेजादे-ए-आलम’ का पैगाम ’आवाज-ए-बुलंद’ पढा जाए" असे झिल्ले-ए-इलाही शहेनशाह-ए-आलम महाबली मोहम्मद जलालुद्दिन अकबर म्हणतो (खरं तर किंचाळतो)...म्हणजे थोडक्यात सांगायचे तर ..."सलीम चे पत्र वाच" बस्स, ईतकेच!

त्यात शेवटी एके ठिकाणी सलीम (म्हणजे आपला तेलकट-तूपट चेहेऱ्याचा आणि जास्त तळलेल्या साबुदाणा वड्यासारखा दिसणारा दिलीप कुमार) म्हणतो: "मै अभी अभी शहेनशाह की आखोंमे शोले देख के आ रहा हू" ...त्यावर माझ्या मित्राने त्याचे सामान्यज्ञान पाजळले... "हा चित्रपट रंगीत बनवला ना तेव्हा ही लाईन टाकली बंरं का’... मी: "कशावरून?"  ....तो: "अरे म्हणजे काय...’मुघल-ए-आझम’ १९६० चा...शोले १९७५ चा...मग सलीम तो आधीच कसा पहाणार? आत्ता रंगीत केला तेव्हा शोले येऊन गेला होता..."

बाकी त्यातली सगळीच पात्र विनोदी आहेत. पृथ्विराज कपूर हा त्याचा ’center of gravity’ त्याच्या पोटात असल्यासारखा सतत हलत-डुलत असतो... आणि सुप्रसिद्ध व्हीलन अजीत हा त्यात सलीमचा मित्र आणि एक राजपूत राजा झाला आहे...मला सारखे मध्येच एकदा तरी तो ’रॊबर्ट, व्हेरी स्मार्ट!’ असे म्हणेल अ